|
Myths & Realities
MYTH: “No- one should interfere in the domestic affairs between couples”
FACT: 23% of reported crime is domestic violence, while 48% of all female murders are carried out by male partners or family members (Home Office 1992). Why should women be unprotected by the Criminal Justice system in their own homes?
MYTH: “It only happens in Black / working-class / Asian / problem families”
FACT: Domestic violence is about power and control of men over women. It happens irrespective of age, class, disability, lifestyle, race and sexuality. It happens in families with children and without, it happens between people who are married and who are not. Domestic violence is no higher in one particular family unit than another.
MYTH: “It can’t be that bad or she’d leave”
FACT: Women stay in abusive relationships for many reasons ranging from love to terror. There are practical reasons also why she may not leave; she may have nowhere else to go, or no money to feed herself and her children. She may be locked in the house for days at a time and, perhaps most importantly, it has been shown that women are most at risk from abusive partners at the moment of leaving. At this stage she may have a very real fear for her life.
MYTH: “It’s just the odd domestic tiff”
FACT: Emotional and psychological abuse can and does include depriving her of money for food and clothes, depriving her of sleep, sexual humiliation, constant criticising and undermining her self-worth, threats to kidnap her children and threats to kill her. Physical abuse can and does include rape, punches, pulling hair, setting fire to, kicking, using knives to mutilate her and even death.
MYTH: “It only happens when he drinks”
FACT: Domestic violence cannot be blamed on alcohol consumption. Some men may have been drinking when they are violent but many men have not. Alcohol is a convenient excuse for both abusers to use and for society to use to explain abusers behaviour.
MYTH: “Violent men just can’t control themselves”
FACT: Most violent men are able to control themselves not to abuse in public or in front of other people, not to cause injuries where they will show and to only be physically violent to women and children. This is not uncontrolled behaviour. Domestic violence is not just about physical violence. It is a systematic pattern of controlling behaviour ranging from controlling household finances to not allowing women to leave the house.
Adapted from STOP pack
|
